Old Fart Football

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man

passes gas and says, "Seven  Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replies, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown. Score tied."

After about five minutes, the old man lets another one go and says, "I'm ahead fourteen to seven."

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown. Score tied." Five seconds go by. She lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal. I lead seventeen to fourteen."

 Now the pressure is on the old man.

Refusing to get beaten by a woman, especially his wife, he strains hard.

Defeat is totally unacceptable.

He gives it everything he's got—and accidentally messes in the bed. His wife says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, my dear. Switch sides."