The Irish Pickle Factory

Mickey O'Flynn worked in an Irish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Mickey to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind. But he might lose his job, and his marriage would never be the same.

The next day he came home from work very early.

His wife, Bridget, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened. Mickey tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Bridget gasped and ran over to her husband.

She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.

She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?"

Mickey replied sadly, "I think she got fired, too."

Out of the Mouths of Kids

The teacher asked her class of eight-year-olds to use a sentence containing the word fascinate. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, Molly. But I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'"

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Well, that was good, Sally. But I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Little Johnny had burned her several times before. But she finally decided she had to be fair and give him a chance. She also thought there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate,' so she called on him.

Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so

big she can only fasten eight."

The teacher sat down and cried.